There are porta-johns rolling along the farm road outside my house. Because I can’t see the truck or tractor pulling them, they look like large, stolid blue beasts placidly moving on their own initiative to a new pasture, wherein they hope to find a greater number and variety of humans to poop in them. These are the things which are important to migratory porta-johns.
But enough about that, you want to see some pictures of the inside of the Tiny Tiny House, don’t you?
The inside of the TTH is surprisingly hard to photograph in a way that makes the pictures seem to make any sense of space, but I’ll do my best, because I know your pleasure and enjoyment of this blog deeply hinges on the quality of this post.
So in a somewhat distorted panorama photo, when you first walk in the door of the house, this is what you see:
Whoooa bendy Escher walls! That’s just the way the camera decided to translate this. So when you walk in the first thing you see is… the bathroom! Awesome? Good thing we have such fantastic taste in shower curtains. Off to the left is the bedroom and office, to the right… well, everything else.
Doors to the office and bedroom. Let’s go into the office, shall we?
I spend a lot of time in the office, and this is where I spend all of it. This is my little work-from-home space, where I sit at my desk and make the internet go. Me, singlehandedly. Sometimes with help from Vicky, Sara, and Al Gore.
But I don’t work in the office alone, as you can tell by the bit of cage in the photo there and the doorway-view of the cage in the photo above. Willow’s giant Chinchilla Palace takes up TONS of space in this tiny room, but it is really nice to have her here, and we commune during the work day with oatmeal, raisins, and bitching about customers. Willow understands that I’m always right, which is part of why we’ve been friends for so long.
“Sooooo when do we take the toy out and play with it?”
Wow, this tour of the house is exhausting. We’d better have a nap:
OK, onward and upward. The bedroom!
Oops, I guess I should tidy up and make the bed:
There, that’s better. The bedroom is small. Like, really small. You can walk around the bed, sort of (it’s a bit of a squeeze on the right hand side there by the fish tank) and that’s it. When Robin first saw it, she walked in and said, “WOW.” Not wow like, you guys have fabulous taste and I’m super impressed; more a ‘wow’ in the sense of, ‘I’ve seen cattle chutes more spacious than this bedroom.’ “It’s a good starter house!” she added, to make me feel better. I felt better.
Alright, on to the ‘living room’, such as it is! This is where we have a bed for Josh’s kids to sleep on when they stay, and his desk in the corner:
Please note that Josh has a desk the size of a postage stamp and has chosen to put the world’s largest houseplant on it. I have no explanation for this. The man does as he pleases.
You’ll also note that there’s a baby gate sitting on top of the bed right now, which will ultimately go in the office doorway to keep the dogs away from Willow. I bought it at Target and made the mistake of thinking it would be easy to install. After opening it up, I discovered it has incomprehensible pictures instead of actual words for directions (when did this become a thing?) and requires using a drill to screw things into the wall. I flew into a great and terrible rage at the injustice of not having my baby gate right this instant, then gave up and outsourced the project to Josh. I wanted to have it up for picture-taking, but ultimately decided you’ll all just have to deal with it.
Behold, the tiny kitchen:
That unit to the right is actually a work bench from Harbor Freight tools. We had to prop it up on 4x4s so that it’s tall enough for Josh to work with, but so far it’s been working out really well. Someday we’ll plug the holes on the top with dowels. Someday. After the baby gate is up.
Our toaster and microwave match. Awww! Here you can also see our table and the two folding chairs we use when the kids are here. It is… yep, you guessed it, tiny. We have actually had all four of us eating dinner at that table and made it work, though. The roundish thing you see on top of it is an abalone shell that Josh found on the beach. Who does that? Who just walks along the beach and finds a giant intact iridescent shell? Josh does that.
When we first got the place Josh asked me if it had a dishwasher. I told him it had two dishwashers. One’s named Meg, one’s named Josh. Har har har.
The laundry room is super interesting, and far be it from me to deny you the opportunity to explore its splendor:
The laundry room is actually a fantastic, extremely helpful room also referred to as the “mud room,” for reasons which are Jet. The back gate opens to where my car parks, so it’s easy to come in from the ranch with the spectacularly filthy beast in tow and feed/brush him in the mud room without spreading the filth to the rest of the house. The beasts can both be sealed in the mud room if needed, while the dog door allows them access to the yard in case they need to pee on my one tomato plant or bark at absolutely nothing in the middle of the night. The mud room allows for dog separation while feeding, so that Indy doesn’t eat his kibble and also Jet’s kibble and Jet’s face. Super handy and I’m lucky to have it.
That’s the tour! Stay tuned for future updates to this blog, which will no doubt describe fascinating aspects of my life here at the TTH in entirely more detail than is strictly necessary.